I’m My Own Lab Rat

close up photo of white mice

About twenty minutes after my 4 pm dose yesterday, I had a bad reaction to my most recently added med. It made me extremely dizzy, with spinning vision similar to the way things look when you’re so drunk that you’re about to vomit. I also felt like I was walking in reduced gravity. With every […]

On Gaining Weight. And Losing weight. And Gaining Weight…

Trigger Warning: This article discusses weight loss, severe weight gain, and disordered eating. Psychiatric drugs make weight gain so, so easy. My first antipsychotic made me feel like I was never full for the first year and a half that I took it. I would eat seconds, thirds, fourths, dessert and second dessert. I would […]

Why I Won’t Have Children

I have always desperately wanted a daughter, and wanted to have several babies. I worked in infant care for seven years, and babies are my favorite people. I feel so much love toward them and from them, and have so much purpose when caring for them. From a very young age, around four or five, […]