The light-grey clay I was so excited to be squeezing in my hands was cold. My momma sat next to me. My hero, a true artist, taught me so many creative skills. Spread out supplies on the dining table and go to work creating. There was the Fimo clay, and I still have the tiny […]
Not My Fault. Still My Responsibility.
We are each completely responsible for every single decision we ever make. We have to live with the consequences of all situations and decisions, even ones that are not our fault. “Living with consequences of your decisions” is another way of saying “being responsible for your life”. I do believe that some decisions we make […]
How I Learned That Change Is Always On The Way (or Hope In Water)
One time, about 5 years ago, I was on an antipsychotic medication that was known for being very safe and having few side effects. I will not name it here, because I don’t believe that telling others about my bad experiences with medication is safe or appropriate. This medicine helps millions of people; […]
A Manic Introduction to a Realistic View
What will I be without my illness? This question terrified me. And it terrified me to admit that I was terrified because that meant something was wrong with me. And there is. There is a pretty massive thing wrong with me: I have a broken brain. Along with that broken brain came a personality developed […]
Why I Won’t Have Children
I have always desperately wanted a daughter, and wanted to have several babies. I worked in infant care for seven years, and babies are my favorite people. I feel so much love toward them and from them, and have so much purpose when caring for them. From a very young age, around four or five, […]
The Abnormal Life
A person with multiple severe mental illnesses, like myself, will never lead a “normal” life. We are not neurotypical, and cannot lead neurotypical lives. We live our own special brand of abnormal lives. These lives can be worthwhile, rich, and rewarding, even though they do contain immense suffering. Of course, trying to get as […]
Can A Bipolar Person Ever Be Happy?
I’m happy. Not always. Not even every week. But my life has meaning, regardless of how ill or healthy I am in the moment. Because of this, on days when I feel normal, I am happy. I’m from Texas. I’m on disability income because of bipolar, and I live in my hometown. I have a […]